As stated in O.P., there are no airports ( or private airfields, landing strips, etc..etc..) within 10 miles of me. That was the first thing I double checked before posting.
wow....no further comment since I am an adult, and I also do not want to risk getting banned from this site, but thankfully there is an ignore button. When I've already mentioned more than once that I have reference for what a low altitude...
Last time I was in the smoke: Duran Duran was still popular (and young)... so its safe to say I'm not current with London shopping.
But I may have solved your other problem... the one about the Brit reg bag...