I've been writing my Ambulance Memoirs for 12 months now . here's a sample of one of the stories
This one is a classic, it’s only short but has to be included, you’ll see why. Imagine a cold winter night in January, and I mean ******* “Baltic”, the sort that has all the Brass Monkeys visiting the welder the next morning. We were on our way to a Breathing Problem with a 72 year old male (we’ll call him Tom) who was an Asthmatic, on arrival we grabbed our kit and headed up the back garden path the old lad had asked us to use in his 999 call as he’d left it open for us.
As we got towards the door, we became aware of this scruffy mongrel lying to the right of the door, he was dithering with cold on the slabs next to the wheelie bin and managed to wag his tail when we spoke to him, we knocked on the slightly open door and walked into the kitchen, Jack shouted “Ambulance Service, can we come in?” “Yeah, I’m in the front room” we went into the room and there was the most welcoming turf and log fire roaring in the fireplace, the dog followed us in and lay himself down in front of the fire bless him, the poor thing needed it.
We set the fella up with a nebuliser, a mask with a container attached underneath it to squirt a dose of a liquid called Salbutamol into, connected to an oxygen cylinder and putting the mask over the patient’s nose and mouth it produced a steam like vapour that opened things up a treat making breathing a lot more comfortable. Tom soon went back to a normal colour instead of Blue and was starting to breath easier and much more slowly, just then the dog got up, he seemed agitated and started to walk in circles, he then stooped and proceeded to do a huge shite on the hearth mat which was covered in burn marks, the old lad never batted an eyelid he just carried on with his Neb until the sound changed signifying the liquid had ran out, we disconnected it and he was now speaking full sentences without having to take a breath halfway through, he never even mentioned the dog and Jack whispered “I wonder how long it’ll be before those logs are burned?” which caused a giggle from us both.
We checked Tom’s obs again, his O2 (Oxygen) levels were now normal, we told him we didn’t think he needed to go to Hospital and we would be happy to leave him at home rather than taking him out in the cold that at the temperature it was would literally take his breath away. Had he forgot about the dog? Who was now fast asleep, still in front of the fire.
I then asked him if he wanted us to arrange a home visit from one of our CPO’s (Community Paramedic Officers) for about half an hour before he went to bed which we established was about 11pm.
He replied “Yeah if that’s ok”
“Of course” I said “He’ll be in one of the fast response cars, he’ll check you over and treat you if he thinks you need it and he won’t take you anywhere if he thinks you’re ok, if he’s tied up someone else who’s available will come, if we’re in the area and not on a call it may be us that visit you, so shall we say around 10:30 ish?”
“That’s fine so, but will you do me one last favour?”
“Yeah be happy to Tom, what’s that?
“If it is you two, don’t bring Yer hound in with you next time leave him in the Ambulance”
The penny dropped like a ******* atom bomb, it wasn’t his f*****g dog!!!!!!! He was probably a stray, or a neighbour’s mutt who was locked out of his own house, ****, **** and double bollocks how did we miss that?
We got back in the bus, took one look at each other and just burst out in hysterical laughter, we couldn’t stop, every time we thought we’d calmed down one look between us and it set us off again, our uniforms were covered in wet patches where we’d wiped the tears away. Even years later, every time Jack and I met up, he used to say “Hey Sam, where’s the dog?” To this day every time I think of that one solitary call it brings a smile to my face.
I told you it was a good one, Sláinte Doggy.
This one is a classic, it’s only short but has to be included, you’ll see why. Imagine a cold winter night in January, and I mean ******* “Baltic”, the sort that has all the Brass Monkeys visiting the welder the next morning. We were on our way to a Breathing Problem with a 72 year old male (we’ll call him Tom) who was an Asthmatic, on arrival we grabbed our kit and headed up the back garden path the old lad had asked us to use in his 999 call as he’d left it open for us.
As we got towards the door, we became aware of this scruffy mongrel lying to the right of the door, he was dithering with cold on the slabs next to the wheelie bin and managed to wag his tail when we spoke to him, we knocked on the slightly open door and walked into the kitchen, Jack shouted “Ambulance Service, can we come in?” “Yeah, I’m in the front room” we went into the room and there was the most welcoming turf and log fire roaring in the fireplace, the dog followed us in and lay himself down in front of the fire bless him, the poor thing needed it.
We set the fella up with a nebuliser, a mask with a container attached underneath it to squirt a dose of a liquid called Salbutamol into, connected to an oxygen cylinder and putting the mask over the patient’s nose and mouth it produced a steam like vapour that opened things up a treat making breathing a lot more comfortable. Tom soon went back to a normal colour instead of Blue and was starting to breath easier and much more slowly, just then the dog got up, he seemed agitated and started to walk in circles, he then stooped and proceeded to do a huge shite on the hearth mat which was covered in burn marks, the old lad never batted an eyelid he just carried on with his Neb until the sound changed signifying the liquid had ran out, we disconnected it and he was now speaking full sentences without having to take a breath halfway through, he never even mentioned the dog and Jack whispered “I wonder how long it’ll be before those logs are burned?” which caused a giggle from us both.
We checked Tom’s obs again, his O2 (Oxygen) levels were now normal, we told him we didn’t think he needed to go to Hospital and we would be happy to leave him at home rather than taking him out in the cold that at the temperature it was would literally take his breath away. Had he forgot about the dog? Who was now fast asleep, still in front of the fire.
I then asked him if he wanted us to arrange a home visit from one of our CPO’s (Community Paramedic Officers) for about half an hour before he went to bed which we established was about 11pm.
He replied “Yeah if that’s ok”
“Of course” I said “He’ll be in one of the fast response cars, he’ll check you over and treat you if he thinks you need it and he won’t take you anywhere if he thinks you’re ok, if he’s tied up someone else who’s available will come, if we’re in the area and not on a call it may be us that visit you, so shall we say around 10:30 ish?”
“That’s fine so, but will you do me one last favour?”
“Yeah be happy to Tom, what’s that?
“If it is you two, don’t bring Yer hound in with you next time leave him in the Ambulance”
The penny dropped like a ******* atom bomb, it wasn’t his f*****g dog!!!!!!! He was probably a stray, or a neighbour’s mutt who was locked out of his own house, ****, **** and double bollocks how did we miss that?
We got back in the bus, took one look at each other and just burst out in hysterical laughter, we couldn’t stop, every time we thought we’d calmed down one look between us and it set us off again, our uniforms were covered in wet patches where we’d wiped the tears away. Even years later, every time Jack and I met up, he used to say “Hey Sam, where’s the dog?” To this day every time I think of that one solitary call it brings a smile to my face.
I told you it was a good one, Sláinte Doggy.
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