Need your input on rough-cut video...!!

[Qoncussion]

Living in Northern California, I volunteer in a fire lookout tower, during the fire season. There are three towers in our area that work together, as a team. This video is of one of those towers, "Oregon Peak Lookout Tower". I've completed a rough cut of the video, but I certainly wouldn't mind any good or bad criticisms of this piece before I do its final processing...

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I appreciate any and all comments...

 

[princeofthehouse]

popping off to eat, but within first ten seconds you a bit out of order.
you going towards tower, towards tower, inside tower (as in underneath/ground), towards tower. move the towards before the inside then I think will work more linearly.
perhaps even skip the first shot and have the first inside be walking up the stairs.

but that's me nit picking first 10 seconds.
will try to come back later

Ref: am a editor for 2 youtube channels, amongst other things, and I help teach it at a school.
(doesn't mean I have a clue what I talking about half the time, but still lol)

 

[Doecliff]

You have all the shots and elements that you need. Keep watching it a few times and you may start to see small and sometimes large mistakes that you made, now is the time to fix them. I liked it overall but I personally would have left out a few shots or maybe rearranged it differently. 2:30 is an acceptable time but I would have trimmed it down even more. Always strive to keep your videos short, what we love actually bores other people to death. I could show you great shots that I thought were awesome and others become disinterested after 10 seconds. Overall this is a good effort and good enough like it is. I like how you kind of told a story with the climbing of the stairs etc. Was that a vertigo effect in one of the shots? I would have left that out. just because you got good footage doesn't mean it has to be included. I have made 1:30 min videos that I had 40 minutes of great footage to choose from. Getting your point across or telling your story without boring the viewer is what's important. Nice work!