Please contribute if you have more!
Keep it clean or our Moderators will
it right out. Yes I have several that are pretty harsh but without profanity or sex etc. Still they would get the here so they have to be direct message or nothing.
So I only list PC jokes here despite a much bigger list. Most of my drone joke list is R or X but not these.
One-liners and some paragraph jokes too.
Can we add and improve on these? I want to have a giant collection eventually.
————————
Shorties first:
If you ever crash your Mavic into a river of molten lava let it go because maaaaan, it’s gone.
Amazon say drones will be making deliveries in ‘months.’
So much for next day delivery.
Why are drone pilots considered to be arrogant?
Because they look down on people.
What do you call a drone that looks exactly the same when you turn it around 180°?
A palindrone.
I became best friends with my artificially intelligent remote control quadcopter named "ROTOR".
He is my **pal** n **drone**.
Getting my drone stuck in a tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
My friend's drone business closed down recently.
I heard it didn't really take off.
My dad bought a $2000 drone. He said “If I crash this thing, you’ll see a drone man cry.”
Did you hear about the shop that sells sentient drones?
They're flying off the shelves.
Grocery store meat departments are starting drone delivery but customers think it's risky.
Its a high-steaks situation.
What's all this nonsense about nothing flying at Gatwick airport.
My drone's been flying about there all morning no problem!
“Hey what did that guy on that drone forum say about the issue with your drone?”
“It doesn’t matter. Trolls never have input. Only argument.”
Sure, you could teach me how to fly a drone.
But I think it would just go over my head.
Stop dreaming about pizza delivery by drone.
It's a pie-in-the-sky idea.
Got a new job at Gatwick Airport. I patrol the runways on a horse and shoot down any illegal flying devices in the area.
I'll be known as The Drone Ranger.
Did you hear about the really boring demonstration on unmanned aerial vehicles?
The guy droned for at least an hour.
I was recently the victim of a drone attack.
I forgot to wear my beekeepers veil.
————————
And a few longer drone jokes.
A representative was demonstrating a new drone to the military.
He was the project manager and showing them how it took coordinates and an image of the objective and it would execute the order. Return Engagement Action Remote-Echo.
His boss named the drone REAR-E for its name acronym. It could autonomously take an engagement mission and return like an echo.
They gave the mgr. multiple tests: North, East, and South objectives, and it behaved perfectly each time. Finally someone requested a fourth western target but the drone just sat idle after takeoff. He explained that this was the prototype, and one subsystem had malfunctioned. But it would be repaired soon.
A General said, “You mean to tell me..." and the tech completed his sentence - "Yes General, until this is repaired there is no West for the REAR-E.”
The male bees were unhappy with their lot.
So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.
Those drone videos of the guy falling off that drone arial motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: A guy walks into a bar....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...
A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t take your money. I won’t lie, I saw this guy on the noon news, I knew he was gonna jump.” Customer replies “No, no, you won it fair and square. I saw the noon news too, but It looked so rough I never thought he’d do it twice!!”
Keep it clean or our Moderators will
it right out. Yes I have several that are pretty harsh but without profanity or sex etc. Still they would get the here so they have to be direct message or nothing. So I only list PC jokes here despite a much bigger list. Most of my drone joke list is R or X but not these.
One-liners and some paragraph jokes too.
Can we add and improve on these? I want to have a giant collection eventually.
————————
Shorties first:
If you ever crash your Mavic into a river of molten lava let it go because maaaaan, it’s gone.
Amazon say drones will be making deliveries in ‘months.’
So much for next day delivery.
Why are drone pilots considered to be arrogant?
Because they look down on people.
What do you call a drone that looks exactly the same when you turn it around 180°?
A palindrone.
I became best friends with my artificially intelligent remote control quadcopter named "ROTOR".
He is my **pal** n **drone**.
Getting my drone stuck in a tree isn’t the worst thing that happened to me today.
But it’s definitely up there.
My friend's drone business closed down recently.
I heard it didn't really take off.
My dad bought a $2000 drone. He said “If I crash this thing, you’ll see a drone man cry.”
Did you hear about the shop that sells sentient drones?
They're flying off the shelves.
Grocery store meat departments are starting drone delivery but customers think it's risky.
Its a high-steaks situation.
What's all this nonsense about nothing flying at Gatwick airport.
My drone's been flying about there all morning no problem!
“Hey what did that guy on that drone forum say about the issue with your drone?”
“It doesn’t matter. Trolls never have input. Only argument.”
Sure, you could teach me how to fly a drone.
But I think it would just go over my head.
Stop dreaming about pizza delivery by drone.
It's a pie-in-the-sky idea.
Got a new job at Gatwick Airport. I patrol the runways on a horse and shoot down any illegal flying devices in the area.
I'll be known as The Drone Ranger.
Did you hear about the really boring demonstration on unmanned aerial vehicles?
The guy droned for at least an hour.
I was recently the victim of a drone attack.
I forgot to wear my beekeepers veil.
————————
And a few longer drone jokes.
A representative was demonstrating a new drone to the military.
He was the project manager and showing them how it took coordinates and an image of the objective and it would execute the order. Return Engagement Action Remote-Echo.
His boss named the drone REAR-E for its name acronym. It could autonomously take an engagement mission and return like an echo.
They gave the mgr. multiple tests: North, East, and South objectives, and it behaved perfectly each time. Finally someone requested a fourth western target but the drone just sat idle after takeoff. He explained that this was the prototype, and one subsystem had malfunctioned. But it would be repaired soon.
A General said, “You mean to tell me..." and the tech completed his sentence - "Yes General, until this is repaired there is no West for the REAR-E.”
The male bees were unhappy with their lot.
So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.
Those drone videos of the guy falling off that drone arial motorcycle thing reminded me of this oldie but goodie: A guy walks into a bar....sits down, orders a beer, and is watching the 5 o’clock news: footage of a guy about to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Bartender says “I bet you $100 he does it.” Guy takes the bet, and not long after has to pay up...
A few minutes later, bartender comes back. “I’m sorry man, I can’t take your money. I won’t lie, I saw this guy on the noon news, I knew he was gonna jump.” Customer replies “No, no, you won it fair and square. I saw the noon news too, but It looked so rough I never thought he’d do it twice!!”
