I am sorry for your problem. From someone who has been flying for several decades, let me give a little advice. If an accident board was investigating this as in an airplane loss, the first thing they would have noted was that you knew conditions weren't optimal but as you hadn't flown since Christmas, you WERE EAGER TO GET OUT. In the service we used to talk about "gethomeitis" , or command pressure, or a myriad of other things that even highly trained, highly experienced pilots would sometimes fall prey to. It is very hard to do, but keep in touch with your gut feelings. Even in daily life, we often have accidents and immediately think "Why did I do that?" Because when we took the action, we knew instinctively that we were pushing the limits. It could be something as simple as dropping a load we were carrying when tried to make it in one trip instead of two.
Safety inspectors have found that most accidents are not due to one factor. They are normally at the end of a chain of events. They know that if that chain was broken at any point, the accident could have been avoided. That is why we have so many rules (Which many of the more inexperienced here, think are ridiculous). They are trying to keep chains from forming. Your eagerness did not necessarily cause the accident, but it kept you from using your better judgement which would have avoided it.
When I went to flight school in Pensacola, FL, there was a plaque for sale in the base exchange. It was a very excellent expression of the facts. It is attached below.
You weren't stupid. You fell into a trap which has captured many an aviator over the years.
Now, learn from your mistakes and fly on.
FLY SAFE AND HAVE FUN